Showing posts with label teachings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teachings. Show all posts

Friday, February 21, 2014

Carving Ruts (and Getting Stuck)


On Wednesday, my very first full day in Milan, I got lost. For two hours. 
As I've established in the previous post, I have extremely poor navigational skills and have shed my extrovert skin (either that, or I've grown an introverted shell), so despite the fact I was armed with a detailed map of Milan, it was little help. 
It was my first time powering through the metro stations alone (that morning my roommate so graciously let me follow her down the streets, through the stations, and to the university), and I've had very limited experience in dealing with these trains and tiled subways that at times smell faintly of urine. I had successfully made it from the university to the final stop near my apartment, but I managed to surface out of the station on the wrong street. Though I was still relatively close by, it was the biggest mistake I could have made. 


Since it was my first full day ever being in Italy, the only streets I knew were the one where my apartment is located (which just so happens to be a tiny little diagonal side street that's about half an inch long on the map) and where my school is. Otherwise, the names are all jumbled to me. 
So I simply started walking. At the very least, it was a worrisome but great way to begin creating my internal map of Milan in my area of residence. I kept walking, sometimes turning corners when I thought I saw a street name I recognized. And I kept walking. And walking. 
It was starting to get dark (at almost six on the dot it's pretty much night time) and I'm not yet comfortable being out in the streets alone after dusk settles. That was when I actually started to worry. My feet were cold and wet due to the rain earlier that day leaving numerous unavoidable puddles splashed all over the sidewalks, and the map tucked in my bag was as much help as all the street signs I was passing by. 
A few possibilities for help zipped through my head. The first one was to simply stop a kind face on the sidewalk and ask them if they knew where my street was (I figured I could get that far, but understanding their response would have been the hard part). After only a moment, I banished that idea. Earlier that day, I had been researching Milan and it's quirks, things to expect, what the people were like, etc., and I had read that the Milanese were very cold on the streets. That last thing I wanted was to make someone feel threatened in some way and cause trouble I couldn't even understand. 
Option two was getting more and more inviting, though less doable. I could get a taxi and simply tell them my address and pay for the trip regardless of how far it was. If I was totally out of my district, I would just have to eat it and deal with it; at least I would get home safely. The only problem posed was that there were no free taxis, even as I continued walking down several streets, looking out for any cars with taxi hats. Isn't that the way, though? When you don't need one, they're all over, and they hound you, but when you do, not a one is in sight. 
Darkness crept over the tall buildings, bathing everything in shadows. Lamps began to pop on. 
It was down to option three. 



Without hesitation, and with all the gratitude my tired body could muster, I pulled out my phone and called my mom. We had set up an international access plan so that if I ever needed to call her and I wasn't in a wifi zone, I could (for an extra fee, of course). I figured this was an emergency (I had absolutely no idea where I was in a country where I barely knew the language, and I'm just an idiot when it comes to reading maps) so I stayed put under a street sign as the phone rang. 
She answered and it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I said “hello, how are you, I'm lost!” in a joking, cheery voice, though I really felt far from it. We got down to business immediately. Dad joined in, too, once I told them where I was and they mapped out my route home, telling me where to take turns and when to stay straight. 
Forty minutes and a run-up phone bill later, I was back at my apartment. Apartamento dolce apartamento.
I hung up, wandered to my room in the apartment, sank onto my bed and cried. I was so relieved and thankful for the connectivity, especially after having none from Dulles to Milan, that the pressure built up over the time I had been walking, and I finally had room for the release. I thanked God for my safety out on the unknown streets for so long, and also my family and the fact that I could reach out to them. Without that connection, I am honestly not sure when I would have gotten home. 
It was a more or less terrifying learning experience, but I can now proudly say that I went to the university and back without any issues this morning! And I went and got some groceries! It's also sunny outside today, which doesn't happen very often in this season, so I was being set up for it to be a good day from the start. I managed to slow down a little bit during my travels and take lots of pictures. They'll be up soon, if the wifi chooses to cooperate!

On an unrelated but semi-related note, I continuously have to stop myself from speaking Spanish in order to communicate. It's true that Spanish is much closer to Italian than English is, but it's still not Italian. On my first day here, I was trying to confirm with a taxi driver whether he accepted credit cards in my broken/brain fried Italian, but I ended up saying “tarjeta de credito” which in Spanish means credit card. Thankfully the Italian equivalent is “carta di credito” so it translated more or less and he understood me after a moment of processing.
I think the fact that “yes” is “si” like in Spanish doesn't help me differentiate at all. I'm slowly picking up on my words and phrases in l'Italiano, mainly because I have to, but otherwise because I want to. That's one thing in retrospect I wish I had been more proactive about - learning/teaching myself the language. I brought all the resources with me that I was using, so I can still continue teaching myself, but all in all it's a little late in the game. Oh well. I'm just incredibly thankful that everyone I've had to work with so far has been nice, understanding, and known a good amount of English. It makes me feel like a rotten little North American sometimes, but I hope they can see the gratitude in my eyes and hear it when I say “grazie mille” because I mean it - thank you, very much (I'm sorry I'm so inept, that's my fault, not yours, but I really truly appreciate the fact that you didn't get angry with me for not understanding your beautiful native tongue).
Strangely, I've heard a handful of other international students participating in the same program as me talk about how hardly anyone here knows English. I find myself in the opposite situation. Everywhere I have gone and every time I've needed assistance, there has always been someone who speaks enough English to help. Maybe it's just that I've been pointed in the right directions by a certain Master Creator. Obviously it's not been by my power alone. 

Well, that sums up day two of my stay in Milan (although it was the first full day). It feels like I’ve already been here a week, and not exactly in a good way. It has been stressful, and I’m not used to that because I do not normally allow myself to get stressed. Here and now, however, I don’t have much choice. It will ease off soon once I can carve these darn ruts down a little deeper so as to fall into them easier.

As always, thanks for the support and words of encouragement!
Ciao,

V

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Prepare A Place

She found herself in a waiting room.
The pallid room had an ethereal feel to it, almost a dream-like quality. It was all so relaxing and peaceful; she closed her eyes and let the atmosphere take her in. Her sandaled foot bobbed absently to the beautiful orchestral music flowing from what she assumed was hidden speakers, since she didn’t see any, but she didn’t know. Frankly, she didn’t care. She hadn’t felt so tranquil in a long time and decided to revel in it as much as possible. It didn’t even give her a sense of complacency; it was pure, unaltered peace.
Somehow she knew she was waiting for something, but it didn’t make her anxious like waiting rooms usually did. Even the fact that she knew no more than that didn’t frighten her. She had nowhere to be. There was no rush to make it to work on time or get the grandkids to soccer before the game started.  Worry was completely unnecessary.
A man with an extremely pleasant and comforting face poked his head through an open door she hadn’t seen before.
“We’re ready for you, Jenny,” he rumbled languidly. Jenny had never heard a deeper, more cordial voice in her life. He smiled as she got up slowly and grabbed her hand to lead her down a long hallway. It seemed endless and yet she didn’t tire.
“Here you are, my dear,” he said finally, stopping to direct her into a very quaint, very lovely room. Jenny gasped at all the decorations, the bedspread, and the curtains. She quickly overlooked the fact that the only object in the room was the bed. Aside from that, there was nothing; not even a couple knick knacks on a table or some shoes strewn across the cream carpet. In fact, there wasn’t even a dresser.
“It’s perfect,” she breathed, running her hands over the cherry red down comforter. An amused chuckle emanated from behind her and it wrapped her up in a feeling of joy. She hadn’t the slightest idea who this man was and she didn’t care. He was treating her with such gentleness and kindness she almost felt she didn’t deserve it.
“I know,” he replied, stepping forward to take her wrinkled hand in his again. He led her to the side of the bed closest to the humungous window, pulled back the covers, and helped her into the bed with delicate, strong arms.
Jenny sighed blithely and sunk into the mattress with a giddy grin on her face.
“Why are you doing this for me?” she asked quietly. The man smiled and continued to gaze at her face much like a proud father to his daughter.
“Because I choose to,” he replied simply. “And I love you.”
“Who are you?”
This elicited another chuckle from him. He came closer and tucked the sheets around her tighter before speaking again in a soft whisper.
“I have many names, my dear, and my face is one not recognized. But none of that really matters. I love you more than you can fathom and you are my precious daughter. That is all that matters. Now you should rest, Jenny. Good night.”
He kissed her on the forehead and without so much as another thought, her eyelids were closed and she was gone.
-----------------------------
John 14:1-3
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.  My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I live in a place...

I live in a place where summer meant Christmas time, where Christmas day is spent playing in the waves and soaking up the sun while sand gets stuck in places it shouldn’t ever be in. I live in a place where rain floats down from the sky like snow and is never in large quantities. I live in a place where it is perfectly normal to see 7 year old girls holding and taking care of their baby brothers and sisters while their Momma is out working. I live in a place where they speak a language I don’t completely understand. I live in a place where I have foothills bordering on mountains in my backyard. I live in a place where if you step outside in flip-flops and stray from the sidewalk, your toes would be buried in sand. I live in the place where it is a rare sight to see a tree taller than me.

I live in a place where close friends are few and acquaintances are plenty. I live in a place where poverty has an iron hold, where the line between rich and poor is extremely distinct. I live in a place where squatting on abandoned property and saying you live in a mat hut the size of a small shed isn’t unusual.

I live in a place where belching is considered downright rude. I live in a place where the darker skinned you are, the more mean looks you get. I live in a place where when I go into the streets or cities, wolf-whistles and curious looks are all I receive from the locals. I live in a place where white people are glorified and all are considered rich. I live in a place where air conditioning and heating are nearly unheard of and only used in large buildings like grocery stores. I live in a place where the government is corrupt. I live in a place where children run around barefoot, in danger of stepping on broken glass and nails because their family can't afford shoes. I live in a place where dogs are not pets, but guards, and are beat and starved. I live in a place where seeing a cat is practically good luck.

I live in Peru.

--------

Hope you liked. It's a bit rough yet, but it's a glimpse into what I experience down here.

~Vicki

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Indescribable, Uncontainable; You Are Amazing God

Hey all,

I had some really good God moments over the past few days. And the past year, I should say. My eyes have been opened to a lot of stuff that is about the world and Godly and sometimes a mixture of both. He’s shown me things that I can’t explain, but some of the points that He’s revealed (and that I can, fortunately, explain) I feel like I should share with others. Let’s begin, shall we?

So first, I am propelled to think that there is somewhat of a cycle to this whole “wisdom” thing. These are my thoughts about it (with God’s help):
You gain wisdom through experiences and in speaking to others about the wisdom you gained, you give them knowledge of it. You help them through your own experiences (using the wisdom) so that they may not make the same mistake you did. You don’t give them wisdom; you give them knowledge through your wisdom. Or present them with the knowledge, free for them to take if they so choose.

Which is generally a good idea.

My next thoughts are about rules and regulations, laws and such that we are supposed to follow. Remember that hand book in school that you read that listed all those – what you thought – dumb rules that you felt like they forced you to follow? Yeah, those ones. The smallest rules and the biggest laws are similar in how they attempt to guide you. I feel like laws (like the Ten Commandments or any other rule you should – but are not forced – to follow) are like walls surrounding you. Imagine yourself totally surrounded by bleached white walls that are tall, but short enough for you to climb over if you wanted to. The walls are built for you protection and to keep outside things from getting in, like bad influences and things that could harm you in any way. However, the walls are like a strong suggestion for you not to get out, but you could jump them if you wanted.

I feel like some people think that rules are like a cage, locking you inside and forcing you to do things that you think you don’t want to do. I absolutely despise the phrase “rules are meant to be broken” because they are not made up for people to break them. That is far from the reason they are laid down in the first place. Rules, laws, regulations; any of those things are set for your safety and protection because (generally) wise people set them, using their wisdom to help you not make the same mistakes that they did. The rules are not preventing you from doing something fun or anything like that. On the other side of that wall (not chain link caging) is a field of endless barbed wire, not bright green, unbelievably luscious grass and rainbows.

If you think that, you're in for a big surprise.

In short summary, (if the above was so incredibly scatter-brained that you couldn’t follow along, I’m sorry) rules are made up for your safety, not to prevent you from doing anything fun. (You’re not missing out on anything being inside the walls.) Laws are like walls, not caging. We have the free will, the choice to stay inside the walls or climb over them. God asks us to stay inside the walls because He knows what’s best for us, but we - as fleshy, sinful humans – always want to know what we’re not allowed to do. Our flesh and curiosity gets us in trouble and it breaks His heart to see us scale the walls, but He’s always got His arms wide open if we choose to jump back over, bruised and scratched.

I am still attempting to grasp just how God loves us as much as He does and I know I’ll never fully understand it because if I did, I’d probably explode. It’s too much for us humans to handle, but I want to know more of how He can love such imperfect sinners so unconditionally. It’s so awesome to think that I have a Heavenly Father who will always, always take me back into His loving arms no matter how badly I’ve screwed up.

I love it.

Thoughts? Comments? And please, don’t hesitate to tell me if I’m out of line in anything I said. Don’t hesitate to point me back onto the right path; I stumble off it daily.

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts with you (:
Have a blessed day!
~Vicki