I looked up at the sky tonight and gazed at the moon through a window of wispy gray clouds; it was just a small break, like a crack in time, and a curious thought hit me. I looked confusedly at the almost-full moon and wondered…
Why do we love?
Why do we throw ourselves out on the table and become five times more transparent just for a single soul? A single soul who we don’t know the thoughts of, who we can't know for sure what their motives are, who we can only rely on their words and actions to tell us the truth.
We just have to trust that what they say is true. Trust is the key to the locket of love. Without trust, love is utterly lost.
So again, why? Why do we pour our beings and thoughts and smiles and laughs into a soul who we can only hope trusts us as much as we trust them? And in turn loves us as much as they say?
For some, the reason varies; others just want companionship and the closeness that intimacy brings; others just want someone to always be paying them attention; and sometimes, someone just wants another kind soul to open up to.
But why do we do, still? We crave it, as humans; nearly all of us do. Kudos to those that God calls to be single for life, because I know I couldn’t do it.
So, we as humans are willing to risk everything, our memories, our feelings and emotions, and even our entire selves just to be loved by that one person in return. We invest ourselves so deeply in one relationship that when that dreaded time sometimes comes when the other pulls the plug, it’s like spiraling downwards from cloud nine as if you were a mere rain drop, a small tear to just be shed and brushed away by cold fingers.
Everything you poured into them was ripped away and you feel like a jagged remainder of what you once were. Your edges are rough and sharp, your emotions and memories shatter you to pieces along with your heart and the mental pain hurts worse than any physical injury.
…why do we risk so much? Perhaps it is because of that tiny little voice in the back of your mind that says, don’t worry, you'll be alright; you're strong, you’re tough, and you will heal with time. It’s okay that sometimes when you fall, you’ve just got to catch yourself, no matter how scraped up your palms get or depths of the gashes in your knees. Then there comes that word again…trust. Trust in yourself, and God, and the people that surround you. Even though you know trusting in anything human is hard because they will always let you down, you continue to anyway because you know you don’t move very fast when you only trust yourself.
Is there really an answer, then? To why we love or why we trust? Not really. Is it just human nature, perhaps? Or a learned behavior? Or maybe something that we all happen to believe?
It’s just life. We love, we trust, we bestow upon each other our faith and hope, even with the preconceived and not entirely unbelievable notion that everything you poured into the individuals may very well have been wasted from the beginning.
Or perhaps, we do all those things because the Father has the grace to do them to us first?
