A chapter taken from one of my novels. Felt the need to post something writing-related, so here it is. Woot.
-V
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It was bitingly cold outside, the wind howling its own misery and despair through the trees.
-V
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It was bitingly cold outside, the wind howling its own misery and despair through the trees.
Jodi quietly stepped outside of the house and
onto the front porch to clear her head and get some air. The police were
already done “investigating” and questioning the three that had called them
about Kaylis’s alleged “suicide”. Now
all they had to do was write up their reports and decide whether James, Jodi,
and Vincent were telling the truth.
“If this was a suicide, then why’s that boy
out front’s name written on her arm?” one surly officer had asked Jodi, glaring
at her with beady little owl eyes.
“He didn’t kill her. They were dating and he
broke it off a few days ago. You can ask anyone at the party that we were at
before we came here; they’ll testify that none of us were present at the time
of death. We just found her like that,” Jodi explained with her arms crossed
and eyes unwavering. The officer stepped down, although regrettably, and waved
her away.
James had called Kaylis’s mother and what he
thought was her older sister’s number in her cell phone to tell them of the
news. He was currently leaning against the door of his Acura, arms crossed and
expression sullen. He’d stepped away to allow Jodi a moment alone with Vincent,
who was resting his back against the house on the other side of the door in a
droopy fashion.
A cigarette was perched between his lips and
every few seconds he would blow out a cloud of smoke, watching it dissipate
listlessly in the passing wind. He had retracted back into his shell.
“I didn’t know you smoked,” Jodi began
quietly. Her breath came out looking as a cloud in the cold air.
“I don’t,” he murmured, continuing to stare
into the shadows of the night. He pinched the end of the cigarette and slipped
it gingerly from his lips. “But I do now.” He exhaled slowly, creating a steady
stream of smoke and breath.
After a beat, Jodi took a few steps toward him
with a sympathetic expression on her face.
“Hey, it’ll be all right--”
“Wrong. It won’t ever be fucking all right,”
he said, cleanly cutting her off midsentence. He hadn’t expressed any emotion
in his words, although in Jodi’s head it seemed strange not to put any emphasis
on one word or another. He spoke like he was talking about dreams, about
lovely, plushy, happy dreams. “It can’t be. Jodi…something’s changed in me.
Something’s happened and I can’t explain it but it feels like a fucking black
hole in my chest. I don’t understand it but it hurts, okay? I can’t…I can’t…”
He grabbed at words, his tone suddenly different, and in the porch light, Jodi
could see his lip wobbling and eyes glimmering. He cursed and shoved his palms
into his eyes, grinding his teeth. “I can’t feel anything. I…it feels like I died back there. It’s like I’m a ghost
now, or some shit.”
Jodi knew whenever he had talked to her
before he put a filter on his words to be courteous, but now it was anything
goes and he didn’t care. She could easily see it in his dull, inexpressive blue
irises. He was losing himself and there were no rungs on the ladder to bring
him back. He would just keep falling away, piece by piece, into madness.
Jodi wanted to hug him. She wanted to hug him
badly, but she wasn’t sure how he would respond, if at all. He needed something
she couldn’t give him. He needed something she wasn’t sure anyone could give
him anymore. He seemed to read her thoughts and shook his head in agreement
before pulling something out of his pocket.
“I gave this ribbon to her and told her to
think of me and how much I cared when she wanted to self-harm…I guess it
backfired. And I don’t want it. So you should take it and remember her whenever
you see it. Please,” he asked, placing it in Jodi’s hand without her
permission, but she took it anyway. “I’ve got enough memories to last me a
lifetime. I don’t need any reminders.”
The spinning, silent police lights on top of
the cars illuminated his face in blue and red, flashing through his eyes as he
stood there, gazing at nothing and wondering everything.
“Well, I guess it’s time to go home. What are
you going to do, Vince? The party is probably going to continue well into the
morning.”
“There’s no way I’m going back there tonight.
Fuck all those happy people; they don’t deserve it,” he lashed, although his
tone was still cool and calm. She had no idea how he managed it.
Jodi closed the distance between them and
placed a consoling hand on his shoulder. “I didn’t mean go back to the party. I
meant where are you going to sleep? What are you going to do for the rest of
the night?”
“I don’t know, float around, and terrorize
some people. I’m a ghost, remember?”
Jodi gave him a sympathetic, concerned look,
but his eyes didn’t match hers. “Vincent, you know as much about psychology as
I do and I know you know how much
thinking those kinds of thoughts are going to screw you over.”
At this, his blue eyes stared straight into
hers, but there was no emotion. There was absolutely nothing.
“I’m already screwed over, Jo. Go home and
sleep. Goodnight.”
